Last Year's Fire

from half a life to recover by John Hult

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lyrics

my youngest, she rides on a pink plastic train
on some fake plastic wrought-iron rails that she laid
she's wise as she's wily, just like her mom and dad
one day she might grow up, wind up just as mad

hey, I still think about it
when I'm hungry, feeling crowded
rubbing elbows with your kin
hey, I said I didn't mean it
and you said that you believed it
I wish that were enough for me
it's not
I've still got all the things I should've lost in last year's fire

these heartaches and headaches, they're one in the same
just circular reasons and endless complaints
your booze in the kitchen, your note on the door
this time to myself's time I don't need no more

hey, I'm still feeling like a heel
spitting off the ferris wheel at the carnival below
hey, I punched the walls and I'm still bleeding
you weren't there to see it
doesn't mean you didn't know
you know
how I do
when I'm still choking on the fumes from last week's fire

so who really cares now which one of us wins
that hopeful refrain for when hope's at its end
leaves me unsatisfied and wondering why I even try
I know it's cause I's raised by an eye for an eye

hey, I still got something to give
loaves and fish for all our friends
at the party that you planned
hey, I realize what that implies
go on and cut me down to size
the air up here's a little thin
I think I'd like to see what it feels like to breath

credits

from half a life to recover, released January 5, 2020

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John Hult Sioux Falls, South Dakota

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